Gaslighting: What It Is, How to Spot It, and How to Shut. It. Down.

Let’s talk about a word we hear thrown around a lot: gaslighting.

It’s not just an overused buzzword from TikTok therapy culture.

It’s a real, dangerous form of emotional manipulation—and once you know how to spot it, you’ll never unsee it again. This blog is your quick and dirty guide to understanding gaslighting, recognizing when it’s happening, and—most importantly—responding in a way that sends a very clear message:

I am not available for this behavior.

🔥 So… What Is  Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where someone tries to make you doubt your reality.

They twist your words, rewrite history, and make you feel “too sensitive,” “crazy,” or like everything’s your fault. The goal? To gain control by making you question your judgment, memory, or even your sanity.

It’s not just a disagreement. It’s not someone having a different perspective. It’s a pattern of behavior designed to make you feel unstable, wrong, and powerless. Once you feel this way, unsure.. you are more likely to give in to whatever the person is wanting.

🚩 How to Recognize Gaslighting

Here are some big red flags:

• “That never happened.”

  (Yes, it did. You were there. You remember.)

• “You’re overreacting.”

  (A classic deflection. Your feelings are valid, and they don’t get to decide what’s “too much.”)

• “You’re being too sensitive.”

  (Nope. You’re having a normal emotional reaction to being mistreated.)

• “You’re imagining things.”

  (Nope again. We don’t question our own memory because someone else is uncomfortable with accountability.)

• They rewrite events in their favor.

  (Suddenly you yelled first? You made them do it? Convenient.)

• You constantly second-guess yourself.

  (That “walking on eggshells” vibe? That’s emotional warfare.)

🛠️ Tools to Respond to Gaslighting

You don’t have to justify your reality.

You live it.

And when someone tries to warp your truth, you don’t need to explain or defend—you need boundaries and clarity.

Here’s how to respond:

1. State Your Reality—Firmly

“That is what happened. I remember it clearly.” You don’t have to argue. You don’t have to explain. You’re not debating—you’re declaring.

2. Stop the Conversation

“This isn’t a productive conversation for me. I’m stepping away.” Gaslighters feed off engagement. You’re not giving them dinner. Shut. It. Down.

3. Use the Word

“This feels like gaslighting. You’re trying to make me question what I know is true, and I’m not available for that.”

Call it by name. It often disrupts the pattern because they hate being seen clearly.

4. Don’t Get Pulled Into Proving

“I don’t need to prove it to you. I know what happened.” Because guess what? You are not a court of law. You don’t owe exhibits A through Z to validate your feelings.

5. Use ‘I’ Statements with Clear Boundaries

“I’m no longer continuing conversations where my reality is denied.” You’re not negotiating. You’re setting a boundary.

💥 Final Word: Gaslighting Dies in Clarity

When you name it, when you stop participating, when you walk away and honor your own truth—that’s when their power shrinks. Gaslighting only works when it gets inside you. When it worms its way into your sense of self. But when you stand in your truth and stop defending it like it’s up for debate? You win. Every time.

And here’s the thing—even if they never get the message? That’s not your responsibility. Your job isn’t to fix them or “make them see.” Your job is to protect your reality like it’s sacred. Because it is.

Stay Safe, Stay true, Always be your raw, beautiful authentic self.

With Love,

Dana & Nicky